Funny letter

Brynn, Cassie, and I walked to Swirlz only to find out that my favorite flavor is not there anymore!!!!! So we wrote out Customer Service cards and turned those in. But that wasn't enough! We typed this letter. (but we aren't going to turn it in)


Dear fellow Swirlz-ians,

I would like to notify you of some very big problems. 4 words, we need butter brickle! Everybody that I interact with has mentioned wanting Butter Brickle back. Poor, poor kids. This is a matter of life and……well never mind. I am worried about my salvation and stuff…you know, people not having Butter Brickle can make them very frowny inside. Butter Brickle is the love of my life, the apple of my eye…it is the reason we breathe today. It is the reason Swirlz was established. Yes, that IS the reason. Butter Brickle is the best thing my tongue has EVER touched. PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE bring it back, like tomorrow. Tomorrow is manana in spanish…. Swirlz is NOT the same without it.
Slinkeys would not bounce! Children would not laugh! The sun would not shine! The universe would explode in mid-air! [probably] Butter Brickle is the cure for all diseases. It is a magical flavor bursting with happiness….and rainbows……and puppies…but mostly rainbows. It makes the whole world go round. I’m serious. I am entirely not joking. I will be sad. Forever. Well, maybe not forever. But until you bring it back. Butter Brickle is Swirlz without the s and z (wirl). Even my chinchilla is getting depressed. And my pet raccoon. And his girlfriend Periwinkle. You know she has glasses. But only for reading. On the other hand, my finches have diabetes. All because of Butter Brickle. MY FACE HAS TURNING GREEN! Just kidding. My grampa used to treat that flavor like a son to him. He’d take him to ball games.
Did you know 9 out of 10 people prefer eating Butter Brickle than sweat socks? Yeah that’s right, people DO like that flavor. VOTE FOR PEDRO! Proof of percentage…everyone loves it

Names Fav. Flavor
Tridger Butter Brickle
Danny Gokey Butter Brickle all the way!
Alyviah BUTTER BRICKLE!

Hilary Duff um...Butter Brickle..duh!
Nancy Carmichael (me) BB!
Albert Einstein "
Your mother What are we talking about?
Winston Butter Bricks!
My piano teacher Butter B.
Jackie Chan Butter Brickle is da bomb!


You see! Everybody likes that flavor! I have a scientist who lives down the street. Her name is Cassieopia. She is very smart. My finches are calling and need their diabetes shots so here she is.

According to the International Wumbo Theory, the specimen also known as Butter Brickle substance in the form of ice cream can be very nutritionous and tasty to the human tastebuds….therefore it is needed to survive. Here is a quote from the International Wumbo Theory.

“To human nature, Butter Brickle contained artificial flavoring and vitamins, or as the kids, teenagers and adults say it, ‘froyo’ is important to humanity. See, it’s as simple as this….I Wumbo, you Wumbo, we all Wumbo!”
-International Wumbo Theory

Okay I'm back. AHHHHHHH the finches are attacking!!! He's got my ear! Get down Beisenberger! There. That’s much better. You see, the finches have been acting up ever since ya'll took away Butter Brickle. They used to be all sweet and happy with an ounce of froyo in their water dish, and now they are vicious man eating monsters!! You have got to help us. Bring it back. For the finches. And for humanity.

And while you are at it, Periwinkle wants me to tell you that she wants Pomegranate Tart back……but that’s a different story.
Regards,

Nancy Carmichael J